


Protect Him

by alpha_libsx



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Avengers Family, BAMF Clint Barton, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt Steve, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Avengers, Protective Clint, Protective Steve Rogers, Sam cooking, Snarky Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 08:51:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1812517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpha_libsx/pseuds/alpha_libsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky after a while reaches out to Sam trying to connect back to Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was almost midnight when Sam went back to his apartment. He had an incredibly long day chasing down a lead that he hoped would sent them to the right path to find Bucky. After a meat with a gang leader it ended up being a dead end. He unlocked his door and went into his apartment kicking off his boots and locking the door behind him.

He went to the kitchen and opened the fridge and scanned the inside of it with disappointment. He needed to get some groceries pronto, he grabbed a beer and went to his living room. He didn’t turn on the lights and sunk in his armchair.

He started drifting off to sleep when he realized that there was actually a person standing in the corner of the living room hidden in the shadows. “Ten minutes” the figure said, Sam went to get the lights on. He was startled when he realized that Bucky was in his living room. “What?” Sam asked perplexed, “It took you ten minutes to realize I’m in your house” Bucky retorted back starting to look pissed off. “Sorry I was out all day looking for your stupid ass all around town, i met some people today that I really really wanted to kill off or call the police on their asses but I couldn’t do that because there was a 1 percent chance they had a clue about where you are, now please don’t kill me” Bucky just stared at him. “Now are you going to sit down or are you going to stay in the corner and stare me to death?” Sam asked and somewhere deep down he couldn’t believe what was coming out of him mouth because in his apartment there was a superassasin and he basically didn’t stand a chance if he decided to kill him.

“Don’t order me around” Sam now was taking in Bucky’s state he wore the same black cargo pants and boots that he wore the day he had last saw him he was wearing a black t-shirt and a jacket over it, probably to hide his arm, he stared at his features Bucky looked thinner a lot thinner he had a beard and bloodshot eyes. “I’m sorry I had a really long day, would you like to sit down something to eat maybe don’t expect a twelve course meal but I could cook some pasta for the both of us, and explain to me why are you so obsessed over the fact that it took me ten minutes to realize you’re here?” Sam was just rumbling his ass of hoping that Bucky won’t leave and that he’d somehow find a way to bring Steve over.

“I … I remember…” Bucky said and slumped down to the ground, Sam walked over to him “I am not going to hurt you, listen my floor is really not the best surface to sit onto come with me to the kitchen” Sam said and offered a hand to help him up, it took Sam a bit to realizes but from that particular corner you could see every exit. Bucky looked hesitant but took Sam’s hand and stood up “I remember “ Bucky said again. “You got to help me out a bit here” Sam said trying to get some more information out of him, “You fighting beside Steve” Bucky said looking a bit more hurt. 

Sam started feeling weird “Yeah I did fought beside him, and I’m helping him find you but apparently mission accomplished” Bucky started moving more into the corner as if somehow he could become one with the wall. “Please don’t tell him that I’m here, and make him stop searching” Sam was starting to get confused Steve was incredibly hellbent on finding Bucky why wouldn’t he spare the guy some heart ache. “And you need to be more careful you’re fighting beside him, you need to have his back at all times” Bucky said. “I’m doing my best believe me but I’m just human no extra abilities no nothing there’s so much I can do” Sam felt the need to apologize.

“Now come with me to the kitchen we’re having dinner” Sam hurried off to the kitchen and with Bucky beside him. “I can’t keep him safe not right now, you need to do that for me” Bucky murmured and Sam dropped off the pot that he had pulled out. “I’m trying to do that” he said while picking up the pot from the floor and filling it up with water to boil. “Trying is not good enough” when Sam looked towards Bucky he was leaning to the counter. “It’s not good enough, promise me that you’ll keep him safe cause right now I can’t” Sam noticed that he kept his gaze fixed at the kitchen counter.

“Listen to me I can call Steve right now and make him come over here” Sam said while cutting up tomatoes to make a sauce for the pasta. “No, don’t tell him anything”, then came a loud crack and Sam turned back to Bucky’s direction realizing that he’d cracked his counter with the metal arm. “I am so sorry please I am sorry” Bucky stared back at Sam scared. “I am not going to hurt you man, even if you break my entire kitchen but please don’t do it” Sam said and walked over to the window to chop off some basil. “Why not tell him though he’s been going crazy searching for you” Sam said looking at him.

“Because I am not who he remembers, I am everything he hates in the world, I’ve done everything he hates, and Hydra is looking for me and I’ll put him in danger again” Bucky said with glassy eyes.  
“No you’re not, believe me you’re not, and he’s a fuckin supersoldier, why not let him decide? And now shut up cause if you make me burn the sauce I will end you” Sam smirked at him trying to lighten the mood.

“Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?” Sam asked while getting two plates and setting them on the counter. “I … yeah…” Sam assumed from the hesitation that the place Bucky was referring to was probably an abandoned building. “I am going to assume that you don’t so you can stay here on the couch for the night” Bucky nodded feeling thankful for the kindness Sam was showing him not considering his past. “Tomorrow morning we’ll call Steve ok?” Bucky nodded back not realizing exactly how Sam convinced him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night didn't quite go as Sam thought

They finished up eating and Sam went to his bedroom to get Bucky some blankets and a pillow. He hurried back to the kitchen when he heard a shattering noise and found Buck with half a plate in his metal arm. “Dude leave them be, they’re not going to go anywhere and you seem like you need sleep” Sam told him putting down the blankets on the couch. “Don’t call Steve” Bucky said approaching slowly the couch. 

“He’d be really happy to know that you’re here and he’d want to see you! Trust me!” Sam said trying to somehow convince Bucky. Bucky moved like lighting pulled out a knife from his pocket and slammed Sam against the wall, holding the knife to his throat “I said don’t call him”.

“Listen to me I’m trying to help!” Sam said trying to keep his calm. “The only thing calling him will do is put him in danger, you’d better keep him safe!” Bucky said jammed the knife to the wall near Sam’s left ear and run to the window shattering it while he jumped out of it.

Sam run to the window but Bucky was already lost in the crowd. He searched through the pockets of his cargo pants desperately trying to find his phone. He found it and called Steve, after one ring Steve picked up. “Sam what’s going on?” Steve said sounding a bit sleepy. “Get your ass at my place right now” Sam said, “Why? Are you ok ? What’s going on?” Steve started worrying. “You should have been here already it’s really important so hurry the fuck up” Sam said and closed the phone. 

He searched through his contacts and found Tony’s and pressed dial. It took a few seconds and Sam was starting to get even more nervous. “Hello Sam how may I be of assistance?” Jarvis great let’s waste more time he thought “Get me Tony on the phone right now, it’s really important, code white important” Sam told him and then Tony picked it up. “Urghhh I was sleeping you owl what is wrong with you ?” Tony sounded a bit annoyed. “I don’t have time, you need to pick up some tech and come over at my place asap, code white” Sam said “What the fuck is code white?”. “Fuckin Bucky was here moments ago, so get your ass moving, we need to find him.” Sam said and closed the phone to Tony. 

The only thing he could do now was wait for them to get over there. After fifteen minutes his doorbell rang. Sam went to check who it was and he was surprised to see Natasha with Clint. He opened the door and they both stormed in his place. Big metallic suitcases in hands. “What are you doing here?” Sam asked perplexed. “Tony called, because he’d probably run a bit late” Clint said, “Do we set up in the kitchen?” Natasha asked and Sam nodded.

After a minute or two came a loud knock on the door. Sam opened up and Steve stormed in looking worried “What’s going on?”. “Maybe take a sit cap” Clint suggested setting up some antennas by the window. “I’m not sitting down, what’s happening?” Steve asked the annoyance clear in his voice. “Bucky was here about twenty minutes ago” Sam told him and didn’t even have the time to blink before Steve grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt and shoved him up against the nearest wall.

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” Steve snarled at him. “Because he specifically told me not to do it and I was trying to convince him to stay here for the night and I was going to call you when I got in my room to sleep so that you’d know” Sam told him.

“Damn it Sam” Steve let him go and went to sink into the nearest couch. “I’m sorry I really tried to keep him here, he kept telling me to promise that I’ll keep you safe no matter what” Sam said trying to make Steve feel better.

That moment the door clicked open and Steve walked in with Pepper at his heels. “How did you get in?” Sam asked looking at Tony confused. “I’m Tony Stark birdie that’s how” Steve smirked.  
“Yo cap !I’m here to find your geriatric boyfriend” Tony winked at him and walked over to Clint and Natasha that were hunched over two computers. “We’re still accessing some of the cameras still nothing” Natasha said not bothering looking at Tony. “Yeah that’s not how you do it, Jarvis baby get access to every security camera on a 12 kilometers radius from the pigeon's apartment, and let’s find him” Tony said while opening the fridge and grabbing a beer. “Sir I must inform you that we’ll access a police department and two banks” Jarvis answered through the computers Natasha and Clint had. “Do I look like I care?Sam is there anything in particular Jarvis should be looking for has he changed in any way?” Tony answered sinking beside Steve on the couch.

“He looked a lot thinner but that might have been the fact that he wasn’t in the uniform, he’s grown a beard and his hair is a bit longer” Sam said and Pepper noticed that Steve looked really alarmed at the thinner part.

Steve stood up from the couch walked silently to the nearest wall and punched a whole through it “I don’t understand why would he come to you?”.  
“He said that he remembered, and he remembered me fighting beside you and he came to tell me to make you stop searching for him and to keep you safe” Sam said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're thoughts are always welcome leave me some comments


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Clint go out to search for Bucky.

“I can’t do this, I’m going to go after him” Steve said keeping his eyes fixed on the void. Clint raised his eyes from the computer screens and walked over to Steve “Let’s go then”, Steve looked at him confused, “I said let’s go” Clint looked at him determined. “Ok then” Steve grabbed his shield from the corner of the couch and walked to the door with Clint on his heels. “If we get a hit I’ll let you know, and be careful” Tony murmured the last part. They both walked out of the apartment and hurried down the stairs. 

“I’ve got my bike here we can drive around and see if we spot anything” Steve said walking to the corner of the building, “We’re talking my bike and I’m driving” Clint said looking at Steve who stared back at him confused. “It’s way faster than yours and if I drive you can look around for him” Clint walked towards his dark purple bike.

Clint was driving around speeding and avoiding cars “Anything?”. Steve sighed behind him starting to get disappointed , then Clint slammed the breaks and they stopped in the middle of the road while a coming taxi honked at them. “At the rooftop on the left” Clint said while he got off the bike starting running towards the entrance. Steve hesitated for a minute but when he looked up his eyes caught a glimpse of metal reflecting the night lights, and he started sprinting towards the door and knocked it down. “Yeah we could also knock it down and go on unnoticed from everyone” Clint sighed and started running towards the stairs too, when he got on the third floor he looked up the stairs and saw that Steve now was on the sixth, three more floors and he would reach the rooftop, he cursed under his breath and continued running up the stairs.

Oddly enough when he reached the rooftop floor Steve was waiting for him behind the metal door that lead to the rooftop. “He might have left” Clint tried to ease the blow of finding the rooftop empty, “Just don’t pull out anything, no matter what he does” Steve opened the door and walked on the rooftop with Clint right behind him. 

They spread up a little bit, Clint took the east side and Steve the west. Clint saw him then standing on the ledge that looked over at the street. “Hey buddy, wanna come down from there? There’s someone here that has been wanting to see you really really badly.” Bucky turned around to look at Clint and Steve that walked slowly towards Clint.

“Buck, please” Clint looked beside him to Steve and registered the pained look on his face. “Take care of him” Bucky said looking at Clint. “Wanna come with me and help me do that?” Clint took a careful step forward.

“Listen to me, they’ll come after him you all of you need to protect him” Bucky shouted back and Steve flinched, “Come with me Buck, I need you”and then Bucky without a warning jumped off the rooftop and both Clint and Steve rushed to ledge and looked down at the street but neither of them could spot him. 

“Buckyyyyyyyy” Steve shouted his lungs off and fell to his knees. “Get up, we need to go” Clint turned around and started walking towards the door. “Go where?” Steve got up and started walking beside him. “Go get a drink and avoid whoever lives in the building before they make us pay for the door” Clint started sprinting down the stairs with Steve beside him they exited the building and found the bike surprisingly where they had abandoned it.

They got on the bike and after twenty minutes Clint turned to a really quite neighborhood. They left the bike near the pavement. Steve looked around and saw that there weren’t any cars or bikes at the street and the only street light that was on started flickering. “Move your perky ass” Clint told him from some stairs that laid to an old basement bar.

They entered the bar, which was empty except for the bartender. Steve looked around and saw dark wooden floors that where probably the same wood as the bar. He saw a few tables some of them had chairs around them and some others had dark leather sofas and armchairs. "What is this place?” Steve asked because he knew that wasn’t a décor you could find at your everyday average bar. “This is a bar, please tell me that you have been to one before and I’m not corrupting you right now” Clint sniggered back as he took a sit at the bar. “Haha very funny” Steve walked and took a sit beside him.

The bartender walked over to them, Steve looked him over, tall guy, really well built which was obviously not from a gym, he was wearing a three piece midnight black suit that fitted him like a glove. He had dark brown, almost black hair, a well maintained scruff and piercing green eyes. “What will it be Clint?” Clint sighed “Two scotches”.

As the bartender walked towards the bottles at the back of the bar Steve noticed that every single bottle was probably from expensive crystal and the drinks all looked from the good stuff too. “So wanna talk about it?” the bartender said while he opened a crystal bottle with intricate carvings and poured scotch in two glasses.

“Not really sure if he’s capable of doing that while he moons over his black leathered boyfriend, bring the scotch over and we’ll see if he starts talking after he’s had a few sips” Steve looked at Clint kind of pained at the amount of sarcasm. “He’s not my boyfriend” Steve muttered surprised at himself, because from all the stuff Clint said Steve had to react to that? “Yeah, whatever you say cap” Clint said as he sipped on his drink. “So Clint when will you stop being a douchebag and officially introduce us?” the bartender said glaring at Clint. “Oh where are my manners right?” Clint said to Steve with a wink, “Last time I checked they were peeing behind the nearest dumpster, my name is Derek Hant you must be Steve” he said while giving his hand out to him. Steve shaked his hand and offered him an expression that was the best thing he could master that looked similar to a smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve opens up to Derek and Clint.

Steve studied the man in front of him, “It’s nice to meet you Derek, my name is…”, “I know who you are” Derek winked back at him and settled behind the bar with a glass in his hand. “You do know that this does not affect me right?” Steve said looking at Clint. “That is cute, I made this so it will affect you, now how about you tell me and Clint here about your ,shall I call him friend?” Derek said looking for confirmation from Clint.

“I am sorry but I don’t know you” Steve said considering the possibilities that the man in front of him could be working for Hydra or anyone else that wanted to find Bucky and take advantage of him. “It’s okay Steve you can talk to us, to both of us. Derek is let’s just say he’s my kindred spirit and shows an idiotic amount of trust to me and he’s a chemist” Clint said winking at Derek. “Let’s be honest here Clint, my specialty is disposal. I can make anything and anyone disappear without leaving any evidence, and not to be confused with other lowlife scums and considering the recent event I should just state that I work only for Clint, no agency no other people, so you can trust me as much as you do him.”

Steve considered it , he took a sip from his drink “What do you want me to say? I feel so helpless, he’s out there alone and the way he talked … Damn it I just want him back. I lost him once and it almost killed me, I can’t do it again. Whoever he was talking about that would come after me, I don’t even care, I just want him back” he hadn’t even realized that he broke the glass he was holding and he had a gush on his palm that was now steadily bleeding. “We’re gonna get him back, Tony is looking for him and if you’ll allow it Derek will search for him too. He has an unorthodox way of doing things but he gets results every time” Clint taking away the broken glass from Steve’s hand. “What are you going to do differently from Tony?” Steve glanced at Derek’s direction. “Let’s just say that if my area of expertise is making things disappear, you can trust me to find stuff as well. Now will you allow me to search for your friend? ”.

Steve thought about it considering every possibility, he didn’t have anything to lose, there would be one more person out there looking for Bucky, “Ok, just don’t pull any weapons on him”. “Oh no no no I don’t do that, I’ll sent Katniss here the coordinates and you can go pick him up” Derek patted Clint’s shoulder. “Again with the Katniss joke? Seriously? Let’s go Steve” Clint shrugged off Dereks hand from his shoulder and motioned for Steve to follow him out and before closing the door behind him he flipped off Derek. “I love you too Katniss, see you soon” Derek snarked back.

“That bitch” Clint muttered under his breath as he got on his motorcycle with Steve behind him. “I think he was joking and Clint thank you” Steve said to him. “I know he was kidding, I love that guy to death and don’t thank me, maybe buy me a beer when we find him” Clint said and started the motorcycle. Steve agreed and they continued the rest of their drive back to the tower in silence.

They entered the garage and Clint parked the motorcycle. They got to the elevator in silence when they heard Jarvis “Hello, Tony would like you to come to the common room there has been some development”. 

The elevator opened up to the common room, Clint and Steve looked perplexed at a smirking Tony holding a bottle of champagne “I found your soviet popsicle”. Steve’s mouth dropped open “You found my what?”. “Damn cap… I found your boyfriend, to be honest I found the building where probably your boyfriend sleeps in, like a ninety five percent probability”.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First solid lead to Bucky's whereabouts.

“What do you mean ninety five percent?” Steve asking taking a seat at the nearest chair feeling that if he stayed up any longer his legs would betray him. “Basically Jarvis found him, so you should be thanking him, apparently somewhere in Hell’s Kitchen there’s a warehouse where your boyfriend has been sneaking into, latest hit came up fifteen minutes ago” Tony said popping open the bottle he was holding and pouring some champaign in some glasses on the bar.

“Give me the address or a fucking GPS to get me there so I don’t waste time searching” Steve said standing up and walking over to Tony. “Cap relax, your snowcone boyfriend hasn’t left the building Jarvis has eyes all over it and where he can’t get Sam, Bruce and Nat are watching, and I could have told you earlier but apparently you’ve made a decent boy out of Legolas and he can’t here a fucking phone when he’s on a motorcycle” Tony said staring at Clint who was flipping him off “Whatever tin man”.

“So if you please gentlemen would follow me downstairs” Tony said as he walked over to the elevator with Clint and Steve close behind him. “Jarvis baby, get the Astons ready” Steve was really agitated, if nobody screwed this up he’d get Bucky back in a few hours, they’d get to come back to the tower and whoever was after him let them come, he was willing to fight everyone and anything if it meant he got him back.

The elevator opened at the basement. “So what I’m I sitting on his lap or is he sitting at mine, cause I’m guessing you’re not taking the suit.” Clint said starring at Tony, “Nobody is sitting on anyone’s lap, don’t get all excited, I said to Jarvis get the Astons ready, that means more than one, I go with Steve you get the other one and follow us” Tony said getting into a black Aston Martin DB9 and Steve followed him in. “You get the other one, it opens up with your fingerprint” Tony said as he started his and seconds later Clint started the other one. 

Both cars were out of the garage in a couple of seconds. They speeded in the streets getting yelled and honked at for almost the entire time. Steve thought they were probably violating all of the existing traffic laws and several other laws but he could deal with that. Tony slowed down and so did Clint behind him. They pulled up on a busy avenue and Tony got out of the car heading to what seemed like a bar Clint and Steve followed him looking curious. “Morning sir the usual?” a waiter said to Tony but he motioned him off and headed to the stairs behind the bar, with Steve and Clint perplexed at his hills. 

Tony opened the door that laid to the roof there they found Natasha with a pair of binoculars. “Hello boys, no movement yet” she said never lowering the binoculars to look at them. Steve then took in the view , the warehouse was old and rusty, and probably it was one strong wind away from collapsing and Bucky lived in there he thought and he felt the weight in his heart getting heavier.

“I should go in and get him” Steve said walked back to the door then Clint rushed off behind him and gripped his hand. “No, not yet” Clint said to him and pulled him back to where Natasha and Tony were standing. “I got a fire, I got a fire, I’m at the west side of the building you guys come in” they heard Sam from a stark phone Natasha had left at the ledge of the rooftop. 

All of them run at the stairs and exited the bar in a hurry and run towards where Sam said he was. There they found him with Bruce at his side. “I’m going in” Steve said as he run into the door the same time flames broke the first floor window. He run all over the warehouse searching for some stairs, anything that would get him to the first floor, maybe Bucky was helpless, maybe something happened to him and he couldn’t get out. He noticed that the warehouse was empty totally empty, except for some boxes that stood at the east side, then Steve heard footsteps behind him, he turned around and saw Clint and Natasha.

“The stairs are down here” Natasha said and run over to the north side of the warehouse and up the stairs with Steve and Clint behind her. Steve gasped from what he saw. On the first floor greeted him a massacre scene. It must have been some battle, on the floor lay approximately ten bodies. Here and there lay some body parts. Steve started panicking and he run over to the bodies starting flipping them over in a desperate effort to see if his worst fear had become true. Natasha and Clint realized what he was doing and started doing the same thing avoiding the flames that were slowly closing in on them. “He’s not here” Steve said and went down stairs with Clint and Natasha behind him. 

As soon as they got outside Tony, Bruce and Sam run towards them “Anything?” Sam asked. “No he’s not in there, he probably is responsible for the bodies in there but he’s not there. How did he get away? I thought you had eyes at the place” Steve shouted at all of them. 

“We did, I have no idea what happened cap, I’m sorry” Tony said to Steve and the apology was practically written in his eyes. They stood there silent thinking of what to do, then Clint’s phone rang. Clint searched through his pockets and recovered his phone, he opened to answer it “Do you have something? Yeah ok I’m putting you on speaker” Clint pressed a button and held his phone in front of him.

“Good evening lady and gentlemen, Bucky is currently situated on the rooftop of a twenty nine store white brick building three blocks north of the avengers tower. You got about ten minutes to meet me outside of the tower. ” then the call ended.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally find Bucky.

They run out of the cars towards the tower. Steve checked his watch they’d managed to be there within eight minutes. Steve spotted Derek sitting on a bench outside the tower. He was in a dark gray three piece suit. He run towards him with Clint and the others beside him.

“Hey, thank you for helping” Steve said.

“Clint will surely find a way to repay me” Derek retorted winking at Clint, who was flipping him off again.

“Who is this guy?” Tony asked and Steve thought that for the first time since he met the guy he seemed a bit lost.

“His name is Derek and he’s a friend, now can we go get James?” Clint said looking at Tony.

“Follow me then” Derek said and started running.

After approximately four minutes they were in front of a building that Steve thought was the one Derek had described on the phone.  
“You’ll find him on the rooftop, good luck Steve” Derek said and started walking away. 

“You guys go on, I’ll catch up” Clint said and run behind Derek.

They walked to the entrance, Sam found the door open. “That is convenient, so until we get to your popsicle, does anyone here know who Derek is? What’s the deal with him and Clint?” They all stared daggers back at Tony.

“I was making conversation. Seriously though do we know anything about him?” Tony asked as they were walking towards the elevator.

“Surprisingly no” Natasha said as they walked in and everyone else fell silent because how could she not know something about Clint. Steve hit the button to the rooftop. The elevator doors opened and Steve saw that the door to the rooftop was broken down. 

“We’ll wait here, you go” Sam said putting a hand out and stopping everyone else from following Steve out on the rooftop. “If you need help yell” Bruce said Steve nodded back and walked out on the rooftop.

The first thing he noticed when he walked outside was a trail of blood. Damn everything he thought, he didn’t even want to think of the possibility of finding Bucky dead. He followed the trail with his breath caught in his throat. The trail lead on the south side of the rooftop behind a little storage shed.

He turned there and then he saw him. Bucky was laying there in a pool of blood. There was way too much blood Steve thought but he calmed down a bit, when he saw that Bucky was looking back at him panting. Steve run towards him and fell to his knees. 

“Hey Buck, where are you hurt?” Steve said trying to keep a lid on the feelings that came crashing down on him.

“ Steve I … I couldn’t get to all of them… I’m sorry I tried to get to all of them but I couldn’t they’ll come after you…” Bucky said looking back at Steve with glassy eyes.

“What are you saying? About the men in the warehouse, Bucky we need to get you patched up don’t worry about anything. I have some friends waiting outside can I call them in?” Steve asked hopping that Buck would agree.

“Ok” Bucky said and his eyes fell shut and before he fell to the ground Steve gripped him in his arms. 

“Guys come on in, we need to get him to the tower” Steve shouted.

They all run to where Steve was. “We need to get him to the tower fast, he’s still breathing but we need to hurry” Steve said with tears starting forming in his eyes. “Jarvis I need five suits to where I am like yesterday” Tony shouted.

“Is it ok to get him there in your suit?” Steve asked worried.

“It’s the fastest way I can think of right now. ” Tony assured him.

Ten seconds later five suits landed on the rooftop to where they were. “Open up” Tony said and all five of the suits opened. Steve picked up Bucky and carried him towards the suit. Sam and Bruce helped him get Bucky in the suit. “Close up and get him to the tower as fast as possible, Jarvis get all the equipment on the medical floor ready, we need to run” Tony said looking at the rest of them. They suit closed up and flew towards the tower with crazy speed. “Get in the rest of them, Jarvis will fly you back” Tony said and got in a suit. The others followed his lead and got into the other suits.

The flight in the tower was almost a minute but it was enough for Steve to get sick with worry. They reached the tower the suits opened up and they all run a floor up to where Tony had built more or less a hospital. Steve saw Bucky on the medical table and run towards him. 

“Tony please” Steve pleaded at him not being able to hold back the tears anymore.

“Listen to me, he’ll be ok. I need you and Natasha to go downstairs now and get some rest. Sam and Bruce will stay here to help out. I promise you I’ll get him back to you” Tony said as Natasha walked up to Steve and grabbed his arm and walked with him to the elevator.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Natasha discuss Derek.  
> Bucky wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags again they're updated.

Steve followed Natasha in the elevator, the silence between them was welcomed from Steve. He liked the fact that he didn’t need to fill in the silence with her, especially this time. All he could think about was if Bucky was going to make it. The doors opened and Steve rushed towards the nearest couch.

Natasha walked towards the kitchen, Steve sighed stretching his sore muscles and leaned back resting his head on the pillows. He heard the elevator doors open again and he stood up rapidly worried that something happened with Bucky. The doors opened to reveal Pepper and Clint.

Pepper hurried towards Steve and pulled him in for a tight hug. As soon as she broke off from it he looked at her perplexed. “You looked like you needed a hug” Pepper said as she sat down on the couch kicking off her heels.

“I actually did…” Steve trailed off.

“I knew because, that’s how I get whenever something happens to Tony” Pepper smiled to him.

“Hey, food is ready” Natasha shouted from the kitchen.

“Come on you need to eat something” Pepper said standing up and hurrying off to the kitchen. Steve stood up and hurried off beside her.

They all sat around the kitchen table as Natasha served them some pasta.

“Do you have any news yet about his condition?” Clint asked.

“No nothing yet…” Steve trailed as he was playing with his food because he couldn’t find it in himself to eat anything.

“Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, the situation with mister Barnes is under control, by my calculations they will be finished in approximately an hour” Jarvis voice sounded in the kitchen and Steve sighed with relief.

“Thanks so much” Steve said.

“You’re welcome” Jarvis answered.

“Now eat the pasta” Clint said taking a mouthful of pasta.

“Who is Derek?” Natasha asked looking in front of her at Steve and not chancing a glance to Clint sitting on her left side. Steve actually gasped, Natasha didn’t know something about Clint.

“Derek is a very special person to me” Clint said drinking some wine.

“How special?” Natasha continued pressing the matter.

“Really special and leave him be” Clint said starring at her straight in the eyes.

“How come I didn’t know about him?” Natasha asked starring back and Steve felt as though he was invading a really private conversation.

“Nobody knew about him because he doesn’t like to be known about, and I decided to respect his decision, in the current situation his expertise were needed so I asked him if he could help us and he decided to accept” Clint said with an obvious amount of irritation.

“Ok then” Natasha said standing up and getting her finished plate in the sink.

Clint stood up and took his plate in the sink as well.

“I thought you were trusting me” Natasha said starring daggers at him.

“I do trust you but Derek is one thing I want to keep to myself, at least for now” Clint said and walked away to the living room sinking into an armchair.

“If it helps Derek seems to only want what’s best for Clint” Steve said playing around with the last remaining pasta in his dish.

“I knew people that seemed to only want what was best for me as well” Natasha said coming to sit back down at the kitchen table.

“Give him some time, I’m sure he’ll tell you when he’s ready or when Derek feels ok about meeting us properly” Pepper said finishing up her plate.

“So what are you going to do with your friend upstairs when he wakes up?” Natasha asked in a desperate effort to change the subject.

“I’ll take it one step at a time, I still don’t know exactly how much of his memory is back or what happened to him, first I need him to wake up” Steve said.

“He will, Tony is a perfectionist he’ll do everything he can to save him. He also has Sam and Bruce to help.” Pepper said smiling to him.

“Sir you need to hurry upstairs mister Barnes has awoken and he kind of makes a mess asking to see you” Jarvis said.

Steve shoved back his chair and run towards the elevator.

The elevator doors opened and he saw Sam being slammed up against a wall, Bruce panting beside a table, Tony calling on his Iron Man suit and Bucky being on his knees on the floor. Steve run towards Bucky and fell to his knees in front of him.

“Bucky?” Steve said reaching out a cautious hand to take a hold onto his shoulder.

“Steve? You’re here?” Bucky said lifting up his head and Steve saw tears streaming down his face.

“I’m here Buck, I’m here” Steve said and Bucky fell into his arms.

“Come on Tony I think Steve has got this” Bruce said as he walked towards Tony and grabbed him by his shirt.

“We need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend about him breaking my stuff” Tony said eyeing Steve as he was being escorted out by Bruce and Sam followed them out as well.

“I couldn’t get to all the Hydra people that were working for Shield there are still a few branches out there, I’m sorry” Bucky said on Steve’s shoulder.

“You don’t need to worry about that we’ll take care of them” Steve said rubbing soothing circles on Bucky’s back.

“You won’t leave me this time right?” Bucky asked his breath coming in shallow pants.

“What do you mean? I’m not letting you go anywhere nor am I leaving” Steve said.

“In my dreams you were always leaving me, I just wanted to make sure this was real” Bucky said starring at Steve.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky rests while Steve watches over him.  
> A discovery about Bucky's arm is made.

“Buck I’m not going anywhere and this is real” Steve sighed as he was cupping Bucky’s cheeks to make him focus.

“Do you want to lie down for a bit?” Steve asked worried, the extent of Bucky’s injuries was not yet known to him so he wasn’t willing to take any chances.

“Ok” Bucky sighed and Steve lifted him up gently and guided him to a bed Tony had set up near the exam table. Bucky grunted as he tried to sit and then lie down. After Bucky was finally tucked in the bed Steve walked over to one of Tony’s desks and brought a chair next to the bed. 

“Relax Buck, you’re safe and you need to get some sleep” Steve said brushing away some long strands of hair from Bucky’s face.

“Stevie…” Bucky sighed as his eyes started slowly closing.

“Shhh…” Steve shushed him and watched him drift to sleep with relief.

“Don’t go” Bucky whispered with his eyes closed.

“I won’t” Steve said to him trying to pour into the words as much reassurance as he could.

The elevator doors opened and Steve glanced and saw Tony’s head picked inside. Steve motioned him to come in but to keep quiet. Tony walked towards Steve in a hurry.

“Everything ok?” Tony asked.

“I guess for now, is he going to be ok?” Steve whispered worried.

“Physically sure, it’s gonna take two weeks more or less for him to fully recover, he had some deep gashes and three bullet wounds.” Tony said as he pulled up a chair to sit beside Steve.

“Thanks Tony, I really appreciate it” Steve said with a hint of a smile at Tony.

“Don’t thank me yet, I can’t be sure about how his memory is, whatever they did to him has probably left him some wounds. That’s going to be something that he’ll need you to help him, I can pay the best doctor as well if he’d be willing to go.” Tony said looking back at Steve.

“We’ll figure it out, I’m willing to do whatever will help him, thank you so much Tony it’s really nice of you”.

“Yeah cause I’m awesome like that” Tony winked at him.

“Go get some rest” Steve said looking at Tony’s tired expression.

“No not yet I want to watch you moon over your boyfriend some more, then I’ll go” Tony said sarcastically back at him. Steve’s mouth dropped open and shoved Tony’s arm jokingly.

“What? Admit it, you almost drool looking at him” Tony continued on picking on Steve.

“I do not drool” Steve said with a hint of irritation, because Tony really didn’t know when to stop.

“I’m just messing with you, it’s nice that you love him so much” Tony said as he patted Steve’s back. Steve didn’t answer he just kept on rubbing soothing circles with his thump on Bucky’s right arm.  
“I’m gonna go know anything you want ask Jarvis or if you want anyone up here also ask Jarvis to get us” Tony said as he walked towards the elevator.

Steve started inevitably thinking about what Tony was teasing him about, yes he loved Bucky on the hellicarrier in D.C. he was willing to get Bucky back or die, but he wasn’t drooling over him, come on it didn’t get to that point. Steve leaned back in the chair never breaking contact with Bucky’s hand and enjoyed the silence and the slow steady breathing of Bucky.

Steve had lost how many hours had passed when Bucky started stirring in his sleep. Steve noticed the cold sweat on his forehead and got a small towel from a drawer nearby. He returned to Bucky’s bed to wipe his forehead and that’s when he heard him, Bucky was muttering something in Russian but Steve couldn’t understand it. Steve wiped his head and Bucky started thrashing on the bed screaming in Russian and Steve started panicking. He tried to hold Bucky’s arms down to prevent him from accidentally hurting himself but it turned out to be pretty difficult with Bucky’s erratic movements.

“Bucky wake up, you’re safe Bucky” Steve almost shouted at him. Bucky’s eyes shot open and Steve gasped at the look of terror that greeted him.

“You’re safe, I’m here nobody will hurt you” Steve said to him rubbing on his hair.

“Steve?” Bucky asked looking at him with surprised eyes.

“Yeah Buck I’m right here, shhh go back to sleep” Steve said and Bucky nodded at him and leaned his head back and closed his eyes again. The doors of the elevator opened again and everyone came in Tony, Pepper, Bruce, Sam, Natasha and Clint. They all hurried off towards a table near the windows and motioned for Steve to join them.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked worried because something must have happened for everyone to be up there.

“Don’t be mad at me, but when I finished patching up Barnes I made a scan of his arm” Tony said and Steve noticed that everyone was staring at him.

“Why did you do that?” Steve asked trying to keep himself calm and not blow off on everyone there how Tony invaded his privacy and Bucky had enough people to have done that to him.

“Because I wanted to take every precaution, see if something was wrong with the arm, a trap, I didn’t know I thought maybe they had booby-trapped it.” Tony said in an almost apologetic way.

“And?” Steve asked hoping that Tony would tell him he was just sorry for doing it and nothing was wrong. He saw Tony grabbing a pen and a paper and writing something then passing it on to Steve.

“Where the metal connects with his shoulder blade there’s a bug, I can’t find where it transmits to when it’s attached to him and we need to take it out of him right now for our safety and for his” Steve folded the note and turned to everyone.

“I need to ask him first, he needs to give his consent” Steve said and everyone nodded.

Steve walked over to Bucky’s bed and woke him up in gentlest way he could, he explained to him the whole situation and Bucky was looking at him terrified.

“I didn’t know about it, or at least I don’t remember it” Bucky said confused.

“Can Tony here take it out Bucky?” Steve asked.

“No anesthesia?” Bucky said.

“Of course I will use anesthesia I’m not a butcher” Tony butted in offended.

“I meant I don’t want anesthesia” Bucky said turning his gaze to him.

“At least let us use something that will numb the area, it might be extremely painful” Bruce said.

“I didn’t know about it Steve” Bucky turned his gaze back at Steve.

“I believe you Buck” Steve said and wiped away a tear from Bucky’s cheek.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bruce work on getting out the bug from Bucky's shoulder and figure out where it transmits to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags before continueing.

“Steve I didn’t know” Bucky said and Steve noticed the panic in his voice so he reached out and grabbed his arm and gently squeezed it.

“Look I need to do this now” Tony said walking over to the bed.

“Steve can stay the entire time” Bruce said trying to sound reassuring.

“Rest of you need to go, Jarvis please keep them updated on the progress of things here” Tony said. The rest of the team nodded and walked to the elevator.

“Do you two believe me?” Bucky asked taking his gaze from Steve and turning it towards Tony and Bruce that were gathering the necessary equipment for the procedure.

“Steve seems to believe you so we do too” Bruce said bringing a small metal table beside the bed.

“Look in order for this to work you need to lay down on your right side. Do you have any sensation with the metal arm?” Tony asked studying Bucky.

“It’s not the same with my regular but I do feel things” Bucky said.

“Amateurs, look when we get that thing out and figure out where it transmits to do you want to discuss the possibility of getting a new arm?” Tony asked.

“What do you mean?” Steve wondered perplexed and saw Tony rolling his eyes at his question.

“I’m just saying that when he gets his strength back and if he’s feeling up to it, I can design and make him an arm that would have the exact amount of feeling that his real one has, also please tell me you’re feeling playful cause I can get some toys in there it’ll be awesome” Tony answered and Steve was happy and slightly worried seeing him amused like that.

“Take that thing out first please” Bucky said as he was rolling on his right side and looking at Steve slightly scared.

“Right down to business, you got to learn to play a bit Barnes, anyways everything is going to be alright, I’m not gonna lie here it’s going to hurt without using full anesthesia so if you need to stop just yell or something” Tony explained as Bruce laid out some tools and got out a syringe. Steve saw him sterilize an area near Bucky’s neck and telling him to take in a breath and hold it and then he plunged the syringe.

“They’re amazing at what they do, so everything is going to be alright Buck” Steve said taking Bucky’s real arm between both of his.

“Awww I’m blushing. Aren’t you touched Brucie?” Tony said sarcastically and Steve couldn’t help but take on of his hands away from holding Bucky and flipping him off. 

“Just shut up Tony and focus” Bruce slapping Tony on the back of the head.

“Should I be scared of what he’s doing at my shoulder?” Bucky asked smiling at Steve.

“No at all Buck, just do what they told you and if it hurts say it” Steve said bringing his hand to cup Bucky’s again.

“I’m deeply hurt right now, but I’ll let it pass since your Steve’s boyfriend” Tony continued the teasing and Tony slapped him again. Steve couldn’t help but notice Bucky’s cheeks getting a slight red glow.

“So tell me something why didn’t you come find me first and then we could have gone to deal with them together” Steve said in a desperate effort to change the subject.

“I placed you in danger enough already, you were in the hospital for two weeks because of me” Bucky said staring straight into Steve’s eyes.

“How do you know?” Steve asked curious.

“I hadn’t remembered much at that time, I still don’t remember much, but I remembered you and I couldn’t keep away, I needed to make sure that you were going to pull through” Bucky told him.

“You should have just … Buck I missed you so much, you should have reached out sooner” Steve said rubbing circles on Bucky’s hand.

“I didn’t know what you’d think of me, I still don’t and I needed to make sure nobody would come after you, I just wanted you to be safe, when we finish from here I’m gonna give you the exact information on how to find the last base the Hydra people working for Shield use. I managed to get to the other.”

“Buck…” Steve sighed pulling some stray strands away from Bucky’s eyes. 

“So I hate to interrupt this but I’m going to need you concentrated a little bit here Barnes, I’m seeing the bug but I need you to tell me if something even slightly itches you” Tony said.

“Everything ok so far” Bucky said.

“Ok then” Tony said and continued working with Bruce beside him.

“Talk to us James how are you feeling?” Bruce asked.

“Everything ok, nothing hurting or itching or whatever you want to call it”.

“We got it, it’s out, now Bruce take it downstairs and find out where that thing talks to, I’m gonna close up Barnes here” Tony said and Bruce took a tray with a small button looking like thing with a small amount of blood on it that Steve guessed was the bug, patted Tony on the back and left shouting back at Bucky.

“You’re going to be ok James”.

“Not so sure about that” Bucky muttered under his breath.

“He’s right Buck” Steve tried to assure him.

“I’m not the same person, I’m … they… I just…” Bucky started tensing up and tears started forming in his eyes.

“I’m done here, I’m gonna leave you here and I’m gonna see how Bruce is doing, just so you know sergeant none of us here are what you’d call a right functioning bunch of individuals” Tony said patting Bucky’s sweat stained head and walking away towards the elevator.

“Sir, mister Bruce found that the bug is transmitting at an island outside the Caribbean, it’s in international waters” Jarvis voice echoed through.

“You got any idea about that island Barnes?” Tony asked.

“No it doesn’t sound familiar but it could also be familiar, I can’t know unless I go there or see some pictures. Right now it doesn’t sound familiar I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. You got to believe me please. Please.” 

Steve noticed that Bucky’s breath started coming out in shallow pants and motioned Tony away and got up from his chair and wrapped his arms around Bucky and started rubbing soothing circles and whispering nonsense to Bucky trying to calm him down.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m coming with you” Bucky said infuriated.  
> “We don’t know what’s on that island, more specifically who it would probably be a good idea if you stayed here and let us go there alone” Tony said frustrated back.  
> The preparations to go to the island.

“I’m coming with you” Bucky said infuriated.

“We don’t know what’s on that island, more specifically who it would probably be a good idea if you stayed here and let us go there alone” Tony said frustrated back. They have all been arguing for the past three hours about how to go to the island and Bucky insisted on going with them but everyone else seemed hesitant about since according to Jarvis assessments he was still healing from his injuries.

“No I am going to come whether you like it or not” Bucky said advancing menacingly towards Tony.

“Hey Buck, it’s not going to take long, we’ll just look around at the island see who’s there and take him out, maybe it’ll be better, safer if you stayed” Steve said grabbing Bucky arm since he seemed a second before punching Stark. Bucky shrugged him off and run towards the elevator, leaving everyone else in the room starring at his back.

“I’ll be back” said Steve running towards the second elevator. He hit the button for his and from recently Bucky’s floor. The doors of the elevator opened revealing a turned over couch.

“Buck, talk to me” Steve said as Bucky turned around with tears in his eyes.

“And tell you what?” Bucky asked dropping to his knees.

“I just thought that it’d be safer for you if you stayed here, I’d feel better if I knew you were here and you were safe until we deal with whoever was tracking you” Steve said walking cautiously towards Bucky.

“What about me?” Bucky asked as a tear escaped his control.

“Buck they didn’t mean anything and Stark is always like that” Steve said dropping to his knees in front of Bucky.

“I’ve had people taking you away from me a billion different ways, I’ve had people strapping me to a chair and showing thousands upon thousands of videos of the moment you crashed to the ocean. I’ve had people torturing me with hallucinogenics about you falling.

You know that moment on the bridge when I saw you and you seemed familiar wasn’t apparently the first time I started remembering. It’s hazy around the edges but I broke through their control every time I saw something with you. They’d always torture me to make me shut up, be the asset they wanted the winter soldier and then they’d wipe me. So no matter if they’re your friends i won’t let you go alone there, I’ve been killing people for the last seventy years, I’m really good at it and I’m coming with you. They might be your friends but I don’t know what’s on that island I don’t remember and I want to be there.” Steve didn’t know what to say to that, he couldn’t refuse him.

“Just promise me that you won’t do anything stupid there” Steve said reaching a cautious hand to Bucky’s cheek.

“Like what?” Bucky asked leaning into Steve’s touch.

“I’m not playing Bucky, I won’t lose you again” Steve said starring into Bucky’s eyes.

“Lovebirds we’re ready to leave. Grab your gear and meet us on the roof” Clint voice came through the intercom.

“Ok Clint. We’ll be up in twenty minutes.” Steve said wiping back the tears from Bucky’s face.

“Bucky come downstairs on the thirty fifth floor, I’ve got you a present.” Clint continued.

“Can Steve come with me?” Bucky asked hesitant.

“Yeah bring your boyfriend as well, no problem” Steve cursed Clint a bit and got up from the floor and so did Bucky but neither of them noticed how the other person’s cheeks were turning a slight shade of red, they both were busy trying to hide their own blush. They both walked towards the elevator and hit the button to the thirty fifth floor. The doors opened revealing Natasha gearing up in her suit, surprisingly Derek in of course a three piece black suit with a black shirt and a black bow tie chatting with Clint who had on his full gear.

“Hey Derek! Are you coming with us?” Steve asked as he walked towards them with Bucky beside him.

“Apparently he is” said Natasha with obvious irritation.

“There’s not a chance in hell to convince you that I’m here to help out right?” Derek asked looking at Natasha.

“No” said Natasha.

“You said you had something for me” Bucky said looking at Clint’s frustrated expression.

“I have some weapons, I thought since you’re coming with us you’ll need something. I don’t know exactly what you like to work with so take your pick” Clint said as he motioned to Bucky to follow him to the adjoining room.

“I don’t like to work with anything, they made me do that” Bucky said tensing.

“I didn’t mean it like that I’m really sorry just take whatever you usually use. We have almost everything here.” Clint said smiling.

“Thank you” Bucky said and walked in the room with Steve following him nodding a thank you back to Clint.

Bucky walked into the room that was apparently an armory and felt a bit overwhelmed. There were enough weapons for a small army there. He picked up several knives a shotgun, a semi-automatic, two guns and several rounds of bullets. At last he grabbed several hostlers and a Kevlar armor.

“I’m done, let’s go upstairs to pick up your gear and head to the roof” Bucky said and walked back to where Clint was looking at Derek and Natasha that were discussing something with stern looks on their faces.

“You found what you wanted?” Clint asked.

“Yes thank you” Bucky said and he and Steve walked to the elevator and back to their floor in silence.

“Ok I’m taking the suit and the shield and then we’ll go to the roof with the others ok?” Steve said and Bucky nodded back. Steve then walked towards the bedroom. He put on his Captain America suit took his shield and came back to find Bucky with the Kevlar armor on several of the hostlers in place. Bucky was struggling with one that tied the shotgun on his back.

“Ok let me do this” Steve said and dropped his shield and hurried to help Bucky.

“Thank you” Bucky said as he let Steve help him.

They walked back to the elevator and Steve hit the button to the roof. The elevator opened up revealing everyone to be there with full gear and two helicopters.

“Now that the whole class is here, it’s field trip day” Tony said sarcastically.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally reach the island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update but exam period is kicking my ass. Hope you guys enjoy the new chapter. :)

The helicopters transported them to a private airport that belonged to Tony. The whole way there Steve was silent and hyperaware of Bucky being tense beside him and that made him more concerned about what they’d find on the island. In an effort to calm Bucky down and on an extent calm himself down he put his hand on Bucky’s knee and squeezed a bit to grab Bucky’s attention. Bucky looked at him sighing and nodding.

They got off from the helicopters and all of the boarded a private plane funded by none other than Tony. Clint went to fly the plane with Natasha following him. Bruce went with Derek and Sam to the back of the plain and Bucky sat on a couch with Steve. Tony was supposed to meet them to the island since he was with his suit.

“Get ready for take-off fellas” Natasha’s voice came through the speakers and Steve buckled his belt and saw Bucky mimicking him.

“I can’t remember if I’ve been in an airplane before” Bucky muttered when the take-off started.

“It’s ok, you have nothing to fear with Clint he’s an amazing pilot” Steve turned to him smiling.

“It’s not that, it just seems really foreign and familiar at the same time” Bucky answered him.

“Don’t push yourself about it” Steve said cautiously because he didn’t know what the right answer could be to that.

“I… I don’t know what’s on that island, whatever we find there I just want you to know that I just did what they made me to do, if I had been fully aware and free to decide I wouldn’t have done all those things” Bucky said with looking at the void in front of him and not daring to raise his eyes to look at Steve.

“Look at me, I know you didn’t have a choice and nothing will ever make me change my opinion of you” Steve said starring straight into Bucky’s blue eyes, hoping that Bucky would believe him.  
“What opinion is that? Before you answer me, your friend Tony is orphan because of me” Bucky said with a concerned expression.

“They made you do all these things, it wasn’t your fault and if you tell Tony he’d probably punch you first but after that he’d understand. My opinion is that” Steve said hesitating a bit because he was ready to tell Bucky that he’s the best man he knows and he’s so unbelievably lucky to have him again in his life and he loves him more than anything.

“Holly shit, tell him already” Clint’s voice came through the speakers.

“Fuck you Francis” Steve cursed and Bucky smiled noticing Steve’s cheeks turning red.

“Oh no, you didn’t” Clint shouted through the speakers.

“Oh yes I did, now mind your own business and not crash the plane” Steve answered back and felt a joy when he turned to see Bucky’s face being a little bit amused by what had happened.

“Yeah basically Jarvis will take it from here and we’re gonna jump off to the beach and Tony will meet us there” Natasha said. Clint and Natasha emerged to the main body of the plain and sat down to the couch opposite from where Steve and Bucky where sitting.

“You guys come on it’s time to jump” Clint shouted and the others emerged from the other room to the back of the plain.

“So lady and gentlemen, I’ve lowered the plain to approximately five meters from the beach level, it’s pure sand so everything is alright for you to jump. Mister Tony is waiting for you on the beach” Jarvis voice sounded through the speakers and then the door opened.

First jumped Bruce, then Sam followed him, after him came Clint and Derek followed him to jump after him went Natasha and in the end went Steve with Bucky. 

“Welcome to paradise named I don’t have a clue” Tony shouted sarcastically and came towards them with the helmet of his suit open.

“So I was analyzing the data we collected and it looks like the receiver is at the north of the island but I haven’t seen any facilities through satellites, so I’m guessing it’s probably something underground” Bruce said as everyone gathered around him.

“Chances are they didn’t see us, Jarvis took a look through some satellites and didn’t see anyone on the island, so we’re probably good” Tony said.

“We head to north then and whoever is in that facility we take them down” Steve continued and everyone nodded emphatically at him.

“I thought you were against killing” Bucky whispered in Steve’s ear.

“This is about you, I won't let anyone hurt you, not again” Steve answered him.

“And that is where you’re wrong, down on your knees” shouted a voice and suddenly all of them where painted with red dots aiming their heads, their necks, their chests. Tony closed his helmet and got ready to charge to whoever was surrounding them in the woods and Bruce seemed to start to let the other guy out.

“ Don’t even think about it, you’re all going to die” shouted again a man coming through the woods, he had burn marks covering his entire face and was dressed for combat with a gear Steve, Natasha and Clint realized was familiar. There on the beach in front of them stood Brock. Steve unconsciously got in front of Bucky shielding him from seeing Brock.

“Relax, I just want him” Brock said sarcastically pointing to Bucky’s direction.

“No” Steve answered getting ready to throw his shield aiming to Brock’s head.

“I just want Winter, I’ll let the rest of you go unharmed. Your choice Winter but know if you don’t come I’ll kill all of them in the end, I have the means to do it believe me” Brock said smirking.

Steve could hear Bucky breathing in shallow pants behind him. He turned around and saw Bucky started walking towards Brock and grabbed his hand.

“Don’t do this please, we can take them down” Steve pleaded.

“I can’t let them hurt you, take care of him” Bucky said to the others behind him and jerked his hand out of Steve’s grip and walked over towards Brock's direction.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve, Tony, Clint and Derek discuss on how to get Bucky back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a torture scene so if the idea of it is something disturbing to you feel free to not read it, it starts where it says underground compound on the island.

~ AVENGERS TOWER ~

 

“We need to find him” Steve shouted frustrated.

“I can find them” Derek said from his seat on the couch.

“Jarvis can do it” Tony said as he was spinning in his chair.

“No offense but he can’t, so if you’ll be kind enough to lend me Jarvis as a resource it will make my job a lot easier” Derek answered back at him.

“Ok why can’t he do it and you can?” Tony retorted back irritated.

“This is not the point here, the point is that we need to find him. Derek here says he can do it so let him do it with the help of Jarvis” Steve said staring daggers at Tony.

“Ok ok, Jarvis you’ll help Derek here with whatever he needs in order to find Cap’s boyfriend” Tony said.

“How long will this take?” Steve said sitting on the couch and rubbing his temples.

“I’ll get back to you in two hours, is there somewhere I could use to work?” Derek said looking at Tony.

“Yeah tell Jarvis to get you in my second lab” Tony said and Derek stood up and walked towards the elevator.

“He’s going to find him, don’t worry” Clint said squeezing a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“I’m worried in what state we’ll find him in” Steve said turning around to look at Clint.

“Brock is not going to kill him, he needs him to take care of things he can’t, so don’t worry yourself to death because when we do find him he’s going to need you” Clint answered.

“Damn it we had them, why did he go?” Steve said groaning because he still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Bucky went willingly. Bucky didn’t deserve it after everything he’d been through.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Tony said starring at the ceiling.

“No it isn’t, we could have taken them and after what he’s been through he doesn’t deserve this.” Steve retorted.

“He did it for you, that’s what you two do for each other. On the hellicarrier you did it for him. He just wants you safe and at that point that was the only way he saw to make that happen.” Tony said turning to look at Steve.

 

~ UNDERGROUND COMPOUND ON THE ISLAND ~

 

“You understand what you need to do for me Winter?” Brock said circling around Bucky, who was strapped down on a table.

“My name is James” Bucky panted.

“Your name is whatever I want it to be, now do you understand what you need to do for me?” Brock asked again. Bucky stayed silent, trying to prolong their stay on the island. He thought that Steve would manage with the others to get to him before they left.

“Answer me” Brock shouted and turned on a switch, Bucky couldn’t tell at first what the switch was about but then he felt electricity surge through him and he let out an involuntary scream but he still kept silent.

“I want an answer” Brock said and picked up a knife from a nearby table and walked back to Bucky.

 

~ AVENGERS TOWER ~

 

“I’ve got them, they’re still on the island, we need to leave right now” Derek said running through the doors of the elevator.

“How the hell are you sure? Jarvis said a couple of helicopters left there with someone that looked like Bucky on them” Tony said spinning his chair to face Derek.

“He’s sure, this is what he does if he says he’s there then he’s still there” Clint said getting up from the couch.

“Ok I’m gonna grab a shield and then I’m going to go” Steve said getting up as well.

“We’re all going to go, Jarvis honey notify the others and get me enough suits to get us on that stupid island” Tony said rubbing at his sore neck.

“I can’t ask you to come” Steve muttered.

“Yeah that is your problem right there, gear up people we’re having a field trip again” Tony said looking at the other that came through the elevator.

“Thank you” Steve said to all of them.

“Yeah you can thank me if I can be the best man” Tony smirked back at him.

“What?” Steve asked confused.

“Just leave it grandpa we’re in a hurry” Clint said winking at Tony.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky fights for himself. And his deepest desire at that moment comes true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is graphic descriptions of murder, past torture, abuse and the begining of a panic attack so please if it's something that is not for you do not read.

~ UNDERGROUND COMPOUND ON THE ISLAND ~

 

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes” Bucky panted, he could feel tears and blood streaming down his face. He kept repeating his name and kept thinking of Steve that was what got him through the horrors Brock brought upon him, but deep down he thought better him than Steve and his friends.

“Yeah, yeah your name is James blah blah, get dressed, we’re gonna leave in a couple of hours” Brock said and threw a pile of clothes and boots his way. Bucky didn’t have the strength to catch them and let them hit him. He didn’t make the effort to stand up from the corner where he was lying. Brock left the room slamming shut the door behind him.

He lied there for a second hoping that the others would find a way to either get him out before Brock made him do something bad or kill him, he wouldn’t let himself think of the option that they’d come to save him. He struggled getting on the cargo pants and the boots, the effort to put them on left him breathless, by now he’d lost count of what Brock did to him. He tried to get up and put on the t-shirt but he fell back on the ground, dizziness started to get to him. After a few tries he managed to get his arms in the sleeves and pull the t-shirt over his head. He leaned his head back trying to make the entire room to stop spinning and take a hold of his breathing, when the door opened and Brock with two people entered.

“Get him on the chair” One of them said and Bucky felt four strong arms grabbing him and manhandling him into a metal examination chair. The memories dawned on him, all the pain he’d endured on chairs similar to that one and he tried to suppress a panic attack clawing to him.

“Hold him down, if he’s gonna be useful I need to pump some stuff into him” The same man said again. Bucky thought that maybe this was his chance a do or die to get out. He let the men hold him down and the other man push the first needle in, he gathered whatever strength he had left and twisted his metal arm out of the man’s grip grabbed the needle that was still in his other arm and jammed it in the man’s neck. He managed to throw Brock on the wall and got up, he approached the man that was holding him down, who was now trying to resettle some bones in his arm and snapped his neck. He turned around and saw that the man that he’d jammed the needle in was on the floor having some sort of seizure but Bucky couldn’t care he just wanted out. He didn’t notice when Brock approached him from behind and pulled a metal chain around his throat trying to choke him.

Bucky smashed his back against the nearest wall hoping that it’ll do the trick and get Brock of his back. Brock let his grip slide a little and that gave Bucky the chance to grab behind his back on Brock and throw him over his head down on the floor.

Bucky straddled him and put the chain over his neck trying to block his airways.

“No matter what you do Winter I’ll always be there” Brock panted and Bucky snapped his neck in one swift motion.

He got up and shuffled through the medical table trying desperately to find anything that could serve as a weapon against anyone else that he could find on the island, that was when he heard the first explosion. 

He heard fighting coming from outside the door and he continued his desperate search. He got disappointed and from his frustration he punched a hole on the table with his metal arm. He didn’t know what was going on outside maybe a Hydra branch had come to exterminate Brock and his minions, maybe they knew about him. He heard footsteps outside the door and tried to think desperately of what to do to defend himself. He decided then on the table, he heard banging coming from outside the metal door of his high-tech cell. A blast came and the door flew open, he waited until the person got in and he threw the entire table their way trying to land a hit but the table landed on a shield that was too familiar.

“Steve?” Bucky asked trying to believe his eyes and that this wasn’t some hallucination from the drug they had given him.

“It’s me Buck, I’m here to get you home” Steve said and didn’t wait a second before he rushed towards Bucky and pulled him in a tight hug.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky are back at the tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter before the end of this fanfic hope you guys enjoy it & let the feels consume you in this one.  
> I really tried writting feelings here, i hope it worked out.

“He’s not up yet?” Derek asked almost in a whisper as he entered the hospital room Tony had set up with Clint close beside him.

“Not yet” Steve said looking up at Derek.

“Relax Steve, give him his time, he’s going to wake up and you two can be together again” Clint said and both Derek and Steve turned to look at him with an astonished look.

“Oh come on, everyone knows you love him to death, literally like you almost died in the hellicarrier in order to make him remember” Clint retorted back at them.

“Aw look at you being romantic, I should go tell that to Natasha” Derek teased back.

“Come on, it’s pretty obvious and to be honest here the first time I’ve seen him actually smile is when he found Bucky” Clint continued and turned to stare back at Steve.

“You’re right” Steve nodded back at Clint.

“Look he’s not the same person you knew. He can’t be after what happened to him, but he’ll need you to be there so it’ll probably be good for both of you if you tell him everything” Clint said.

“I will, thank you” Steve said and Clint with Derek waved him a goodbye and left him. Steve stretched on the chair a bit to wake up his sore muscles. He looked down at Bucky sleeping peacefully and felt that actually now that Bucky was safe he might be able to sleep a little bit better at night, maybe now things were going to work out. Bucky just needed to wake up and they could work on everything together.

“Can you hear me?” Steve then refocused again and saw that Bucky had woken up and was looking at him with a confused expression.

“You’re up. How do you feel? I can call on the others to come check up on you” Steve rambled.

“No, not yet, you’re really here?” Bucky asked starring at Steve.

“Yes Buck. You’re ok, you’re back at the tower.” Steve said reaching a cautious hand to grab Bucky’s and make sure his point gets across to him.

“Brock is dead right?” Bucky asked and Steve noticed the dread in his eyes about what the answer might be and cringed at the thought of what he might have done to Bucky.

“He’s dead, you killed him, you fought back with all of them, all of his minions are dead.” Steve answered him, trying to be as reassuring as he could.

“That’s good. Are you ok?” Bucky asked.

“Yes, don’t do that to me ever again. Don’t ever do that and no matter what the outcome might be I’m always going to fight for you” Steve said starring back at Bucky’s ice blue eyes.

“You’re going to be fighting for a memory, the man you once knew doesn’t exist anymore” Bucky sighed leaning back on his pillow.

“No. You’re not a memory, you’re free and you’re here, situations changed you and it’s ok I’m also not the same person I was back then. The fact that you’re still here after everything makes you a hero so I’m gonna be fighting for you” Steve said and hoped that everything that came out of his mouth made sense to Bucky, he couldn’t tell him what he actually felt at that moment because it wasn’t right and he didn’t want to pressure Bucky.

“Steve I don’t deserve it, I have a lot of blood on my hands” Bucky said looking at Steve with tears threatening to make an appearance in his eyes.

“That doesn’t mean anything, you didn’t want to do any of the things that they made you to do” Steve emphasized. He reached a cautious hand and brushed back some strands of hair away from Bucky’s face and he felt him lean into his touch.

“We should probably call Tony and Bruce to come check up on you” Steve said not taking his hand away and saw Bucky nod emphatically back at him.

“Jarvis call Bruce and Tony here to check Bucky to make sure he’s going to be ok” Steve said.

“Of course sir” Jarvis answered back. After almost five minutes the elevator door opened to reveal Bruce and Tony who rushed in.

“Hey nice to see you’re up” Bruce said smiling.

“Vitals are looking good, probably you’re gonna need to take it easy for the next month or so, I’d probably refrain from crazy bunny sex if I were you for the time being” Tony said with his usual sarcastic tone and Bruce landed a slap on the back of his head.

“What?” Steve asked raising and eyebrow.

“Crazy bunny sex? We have talked about this.” Bruce murmured.

“You and Tony discussed me and Steve having crazy bunny sex?” Bucky asked and Bruce and Tony stared back at him in horror, meanwhile Steve died laughing.

“It’s not, that sounded so wrong” Bruce said blushing.

“It’s ok” Steve said still smiling.

“Can you please take Bruce and go, I want to talk to Tony for a second” Bucky asked looking at Steve.

“Ok, sure” Steve said and got up giving a light peck to Bucky’s forehead. He walked towards the elevator with Bruce behind him leaving a slightly terrified Tony with Bucky.

“I’m sorry it was a bad joke but that’s just how I am, my autobiography might as well be titled a series of bad jokes and decisions” Tony said sitting on the chair beside Bucky’s bed.

“It’s not that, I wanted to talk to you about your parents, I was the one that killed them, I made it look like an accident.” Bucky blurted out because he couldn’t bear it living with Tony without him knowing the truth.

“I know that, I also know that it wasn’t your fault and if you were presented with a choice you wouldn’t have done it and I also know that you’re probably a really cool dude, surprisingly no pun intended here, so I’d like you to stay in the tower with us and Steve he’d love you staying with him.” Tony said starring at Bucky.

“Thank you” Bucky answered back at him.

“Is there something else you want?” Tony asked.

“Actually there is.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter and we learn what Bucky asked from Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let the feels in ;)

“Hey, wake up Buck, you’re safe” Steve almost shouted trying to wake Bucky up. Bucky gasped as he woke up from his nightmare, disoriented he turned to look at Steve.

“You’re ok Buck, it was just a nightmare” Steve said brushing some strands away from Bucky’s sweat stained forehead.

“I don’t think they’re nightmares, I think they’re memories” Bucky said panting as he looked up at Steve more focused.

“Even if they’re memories, it’s not happening to you now, you’re safe here” Steve said smiling at him.

“I know, I just sometimes it’s too real” Bucky said biting his lip.

“It’s ok Buck” Steve said and pulled Bucky into his arms.

“Sorry for waking you up for the billionth time” Bucky almost whispered near Steve’s ear.

“And for the billionth time never apologize to me Buck” Steve said and held him tighter. A knock on the door interrupted them and Steve sighed.

“Are we being invaded by an alien army? If the answer to that question is no go away” Steve shouted and felt Bucky smile beside his chick.

“This is really important and it can’t wait. It’s what we talked about snowflake I have it ready, so if you please hurry it up and get dressed and follow me downstairs” Tony shouted through the closed door.

“Am I ever going to know what you two talk about?” Steve broke apart from the hug and looked at Bucky with an arched eyebrow.

“You will” Bucky said as he stood up and put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt in a hurry. He opened the door and saw Tony standing beside it with a wide smirk.

“Morning or whatever the time is, I’ll bring your sweetheart back in a few hours” Tony said and motioned for Bucky to follow him, and Steve was left on the bed with a confused look. Tony hurried with Bucky behind him to the elevator.

“I’m so excited for this” Tony said smiling at Bucky.

“Me too” Bucky nodded back at him as the elevator transported them to Tony’s lab.

“I can’t wait to see his face, you know I can give you some vibrations to it” Tony said winking.

“Tony” Bruce shouted from the far end of the lab.

“Oh come on they could have so much fun with it” Tony said.

“Tony please tell me you didn’t do it” Bucky said feeling a bit scared at the answer.

“No he did not” Bruce reassured him.

“Thank you so much for this” Bucky said looking at both of them.

“You’ll thank both of us and the others for keeping it a secret if you let us see his face when he sees it” Tony said with a wide smile.

“Ok ok sure” Bucky said and his chicks turned a bright pink.

“And who knew you blushed” Tony retorted back.

“Shut up Tony we need to begin” Bruce said.

“There’s nothing to worry about. Everything is going to go great” Tony said and motioned for Bucky to lie down on a leather chair.

“Are you ok where you’re sitting?” Bruce asked.

“Yes, thanks for changing it from the metal one” Bucky said nodding at Bruce.

“Cool, we’ll see you brand shiny and new in a couple of hours” Tony said smiling at him and things started getting hazy for Bucky as he slowly fell into a deep sleep.

 

~ COMMON ROOM 9 HOURS LATER ~

 

“Oh come on someone tell me” Steve shouted frustrated at everyone that smirked at him.

“Just wait” Sam said as he patted him on the back.

“This is ridiculous” Steve said frustrated with all of them. Nobody hinted anything to him about what Bruce, Tony and Bucky were doing and it got him incredibly curious, especially the fact that Jarvis strictly stopped him from following them at the lab or checking through the cameras the see what was going on.

“It’s actually cute” Clint said from the far end of the couch.

“Thank you that was really illuminating” Steve answered sarcastically back at him.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Tony would like all of you to come downstairs at the lab” Jarvis voice said as the elevator doors opened. Steve almost run to the elevator as the others followed closely beside him.

 

~ LAB ~

 

The elevator doors opened revealing to Steve, Bucky doing some motions with his metal arm but something looked strange to him. He walked towards Bucky curious.

“Oh hi. Do you like it?” Bucky said turning to look at him extending his brand new and shiny metal arm.

“Oh my it’s amazing, how does it feel ?“ Steve asked as the others gathered around them to see it as well.

“It feels awesome, Bruce and I made it” Tony shouted from the far end of the lab and run to join them.

“He’s right to be honest, it feels a lot better than the other one” Bucky said.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Steve asked him.

“I wanted it to be a surprise” Bucky said and turned to the side to let Steve see what he had planned for the past few weeks with Bruce and Tony. He waited patiently for Steve to process the entirety of it and especially the fact that on the place of the red star now stood a white one circled with the colors of Steve’s uniform and it looked like his shield.

“Oh my, Buck” Steve muttered.

“I wanted to belong to whom I choose” Bucky said and saw that all of the others were smiling at both of them but got worried because Steve kept looking at him with wide eyes and a slightly agape mouth.

“Are you sure about this?” Steve said and stare into Bucky’s eyes.

“Till the end of the line” Bucky said nodding back at Steve.

“I waited eighty years for this” Steve said and moved in to plant a kiss on Bucky’s lips.

“And that’s our queue to go” someone said but to Steve and Bucky it didn’t matter because they’ve both been waiting a long time.

“I love you Buck, so much” Steve muttered on Bucky’s lips as they broke apart.

“I thought we said I’m with you till the end of the line but I love you too so much and thank you for bringing me back might not be the same person but thank you so much” Bucky answered him smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm such a sap for that ending, i hope you guys enjoyed the story. :)


End file.
